Went to help mom in the morning. Was so freakin tired but I still helped. Cos Im really broke..Poor me...All the while already so poor, then now even poorer. Actually didnt earn much. Only $30. But actually better than nothing la.


After that supppose to go out with Kite one. But she called me and said she having fever. And she sounded so sick lo. Ke lian.


So I went chinatown for a while and bought a pair of shorts. Went home after that, and rest for a while.


Went to Bishan Swimming Complex for my diving swim. Joel and me went only. Hk didnt go cos he got some party thing. When I walked past the stadium, it really brings back all the memories. Sec sch memories. Track & field training during hols are always at held at Bishan. I miss sec sch lo. The life and people. Everything.


After that, had dinner with Bro at Swensen. He seemed rich, haha, treat me Swensen.


Thne went Vivo, to the 37d, buy my green shorts. Then we missed the last bus! Waited for the next bus until 12.35. So all the while, we were talking, and I told him everything.


Actually I think some people are really lucky. Or maybe I should say its not a matter of luck? Maybe its karma. -.- Everything, just have to blame myself for bring such a nasty heartbreaker last time, thats why Im in this state now.

Suppose to go for PeiKiap's event at Discovery Centre today. But in the end, it rained so heavily, so they decided to postpone it. Then I decided to go back and continue sleeping.

Then woke up at 2pm, watched a lil bit of tv, then pack me cupboard, wardrobe and shelve. Suppose to meet Prince Kent after he brought his granny to the hospital. But it was raining hippos and rhinos! And Freezing cold! Decided to meet him some other day.

Then visited some blogsites. Ordered a few pair of earrings.

Tmr is the 27. Mr Lee and THE MUM's gonna return from Msia. Wonder how THE MUM's gonna humiliate me once again. But nvm. I got MY MOM to help me. Hope everything's gonna be fine for me and MY MOM. I am really disappointed. And like I said, some happiness are just not entitled to certain people. Face it.

My turn to go Msia on either Fri or Sat, with Kite. Hope they are still having their year end sales, then I can get some cheap and nice stuff. Cos Im really dead broke....

mERRY Xmas!

Merry Xmas and a Happy New Year People!

Had hell lot of fun these 2 days, thou things have
not been goin on smoothly for me recently.

Xmas Eve

Meet Pineapple to go shop at town. Saw her new bf,
Vincent for the first time. Quite cute. As in those
gong gong kind of cute. No wonder she say he's sooooo
cute.

Bought a new t-shirt and necklace. Saw this really nice
pair of pointies, but damn big. The smallest they have
is size 6. Poor me, my feet size is only 3.5. How to fit in!?

Anyway, I think she should be quite happy. Cos she bought
3 pairs of bra! Haha! Pierre Cardin's new series so nice!
Im gonna buy another few more sets too.

After that went back to my house, then the rest came to have
dinner at my house. Ordered pizza, but they forgot to give
me the pepsi! So inefficient. Watched DVD, talked(as usual)...

Went GWC after that, stayed at Mcafe to GOSSIP, CHAT,
CHAT, CHAT....

Then went Clarke Quay countdown. lol. Ken picked Apple
up. Waited for Geok's Ernest to fetch her...Then Kite and
Pineapple came my house to GOSSIP once again...After a
while bro came back with Linda, with 3 colourful foam swords.
Act cute..

So we chatted all the way till 6am, then they went home.
Actually its just me and Kite. Pineapple was sleeping like a
chunk of dead pig...

X'MAS

Woke up at 2pm. Went Yeo's house to play. Met Felicia at
Outram, then the rest at Kovan. OMG la. At first I thought
Kovan was at some green line, near Simei there. I so damn
sua ku can.

When we reached there, expected, have to wait for the rest.
Then spent so longggggggg time discussing what to buy to
his house to eat. Like got $1.90 Nasi Lemak, cos budget,
then Felicia suggest mix vege rice, cos got the share-food-
together-feeling.

In the end, all also nv buy, cos he mum cooked food. lol!

Then all the while, we were playing retarded games, talking,
watching tv, and some other dunno-doin-what activites, till
dinner time. After that continue play games, and went to
talk photos and play at the swing. Then Sharon came.

All the way till, around 11 plus, the we exchanged present.
Jessica got my CUTE lil' dolphin paper stand! And I got
Kiap's yellow lego necklace. Lol! So Cute! Its YELLOW!!!! Yeah!

The went to the bustop, saw PeiWen, she so sad. Its like
she reach his house then we all go home le. Anyway, we
missed the last train. So took cab home.........

Powerful + humiliating - THE MUM

Tried over 2hrs attempting to do something
I've never done before. Succeed...half of it.
Goin to try again later. I dont believe I
cannot do it.
Jiayou!

Wanted to go Bugis just now to get some
Xmas present for NUTS. But I was lazy,
and partly also cos I was trying the
Mission-Impossible Task. Quite proud
with myself.

Yesterday he wanted to call me. Then
when I reached home I asked him to
call me. Then after that his mum took
the phone and talked to me. Mean..
Mean..Mean..Mean...Sly..Sly..Sly..
Meticulous..Meticulous..Meticulous...
Thats all I can say bout her. Said so
much hurtful things bout me, trying to
humiliate me, and bring me down.

Last time appeared to be soooooooooo
super-duper friendly. And now turned
the table so fast. Seriously. Health also
not very good already, but still wanna
bring people down. Its really OMG.
This is the first time I see the real world.
I think if Im a lil more vulnerable to
those disses, I really would have jumped
off from my window already.

The battle btw me and her is on. Its not
that I want. But I have to, in order to
protect myself. Until now still wanna side
with her son. After each talk with her I feel
more worthless than the previous time.
THE MUM is invinsible!

And I cant believe I actually promised him
smt, which eventually, indirectly helped him
and THE MUM to bring me down. Im so
super-duper dumb and brainless. And I cant
go back on my word! Cos Im so not like
himmmmmmmmmm.

And its so unbelievable that he is still trying
to protect himself UNTIL now! Citing reasons
that only a simpleton will buy(ok, maybe he
thinks Im much more dumb than a simpleton).
And continue letting THE MUM do this thing to me.

Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

Im so freakin' disappointed in him and of cos
THE MUM. And I feel so betrayed.

And the war is really on. Wish me luck, friends
.... =[

Why did u break ur promises time and time again, and do u know that ur worse than them? You saidu wont be like them. But now who is the one who has hurt me the most. Wont u feel guilty? Last time I tried to be strong, by standing up after each fall. You said Im stronger now? So by listening to ur lies again means that Im stronger? I wish Im weaker, so that I wont let myself fall again.

Some say love it is a river
That drowns the tender reed.
Some say love it is a razor
That leaves your soul to bleed.
Some say love it is a hunger
An endless, aching need I say love it is a flower,
And you it's only seed.
It's the heart afraid of breaking
That never learns to dance
It's the dream afraid of waking
That never takes the chance
It's the one who won't be taken,
Who cannot seem to give
And the soul afraid of dying
That never learns to live.
When the night has been too lonely
And the road has been too long.
And you think that love is only
For the lucky and the strong.
Just remember in the winter
Far beneath the bitter snow
Lies the seed that with the sun's love,
In the spring, becomes the rose.

I know that I have to wake up from my dreams, no matter how much I still wanna indulge in it. But one thing I dont understand why is it always be, to have to be the victim, to be the heartbroken one for 4 years. But I have come to terms with it that this is my life. And I wont for anything more in the futur, just live the way it is carved out for me, because there are thorns at the side of the walkway, so i have no choice but to follow the path ahead, or else I will get hurt and bleed. But its a little to late to realise it. Cos Im already bleeding profusely now. And I can only be envious of the happy couples.

Its always been nice to be able to stand up after each fall
And still believing that there will be a next better relationship
But its just one after another heartbreak
One unfulfilled promise after another for 4 years

Actually I dont have much in my life already
So many people have much more than me
Though I conplianed sometimes
But I still dont expect to have much
Just a simple life with my other half in a cosy little house is enough
But it seems unreachable

In the past I thought i deserve good, decent guys
But I dont think so now
Then thats left with complicated baddies
With another round of lies

But its good to wake up from dreams
And get back to reality

So the road ahead should be harsh and unbearable
And its better if its a dead end in front of me
Make things so much easier