Smt big happened recently. Smt big for me at least. Shall not talk bout it. Since the whole world knows what is it about. I still hope that he will change back to the same old him.
Actually it wasn’t that all bad for my case. After all, my first 12 years were all so detached from the teachings of people. All I care all day long is just goin Peiwen and Beifang’s house and play. Thou much more was all eyes in television. Nothing much bout learning the way of life. Was very much an individual at home. Don’t even know what am I doin at home at all for all these 12 years. Wasn’t that close with bro at that point of time still.
It was then in sec sch I realized a lot more things. It was only in sec school then I started learning philosophical stuff from parents and bro. They are damn good. Esp my bro. Only 3 yrs my senior, yet being so wise. Feel so inferior standing beside him. =[
It was more through my own eyes of observation and stuff I read from books that tide me thru. Yup. Really good and inspirational books I would say. That book is my precious. That’s where I learn most stuff from. And it was where I map out my path for myself.
Sec 2 was the major turning point. I couldn’t imagine myself walking that I-shall-skip-lesson-and-go-out-to-look-for-them-instead life with her. Lol. Its damn funny. But at least life’s been quite good for her. She’s got him, and at least she’s in MIDIS now. Her side is always complicated.
Thinking back, if I had chosen that, things would be so much different now. Don’t thing I will still be in poly at all. Maybe sitting along side with those MINI’S outside Cine, wasting life away.
Whenever I take 65 and pass by her place, thoughts always just flashed thru my mind. I miss being with them. Esp when everyone is there, and I will listen to their side of the story. It was interesting, at least good enough for an innocent 14 year old gal. I used to hope I can be like that. But no. Im glad Im not.
Partly, it was also Pineapple’s credit to pull me back to reality. She was the one who set me thinking. That’s why I love her so much. Learned quite a bit of things from her too. One of my major pillar of strength. =D
Thinking back, I think im not that bad after all. Being devoid of so much teachings, yet still able to be who I am today. Im proud of myself! Sec 3 and 4 was the best peaceful part in sec sch life. Gossiping is normality and peaceful. Better than in sec 2. Except than the Danny and Jessie gang part. I miss them too.
It was then in poly, I met people from the real world. Yup. But at least I should be glad I experienced that. Like what many said. Could be a stepping stone for me, to experience even worse stuff in the future. Or else too much a major turn would have killed me. Well, it nearly did. But Im glad there are friends and family helping me. Or else this journey would be more tormenting then now.
Its only thru bitter times do we taste the sweetness around us. I got the real meaning of it. Its so true. I love all my friends. Guys and gals I cried to, I cried with, I messaged to saying: I don’t feel good, I feel emo…, I talked to on msn, on phone, in person, on the street, in some random toilet cubicles, in school, in the park, at my house bus-stop, my house bench, at the playground. To people whom I irritate day and night. You know who u are. U are love by me!!! MUACKZ! U guys are the hidden gems! Im damn touched by u all! Life wont be so good without u all!!!
But of cos, my parents and bro as well. Esp, my mum, who wakes up in the middle of the night when she realized things are not right.
Yes. Life is still good. At least with sweet people around me. I will be happy for now. At least if nothing big happens again.
As for me, its my turn to be on the quest to find my way back into love again. I only hope that THE ONE will appear soon. =D
